March 13, 2020

How to Avoid Your 3 Biggest Dating Fears

by Janet Tingwald in Dating

Does the idea of putting yourself out there again make you feel anxious? If you feel this way, you’re not alone. Getting back into dating can be challenging for anyone, especially when you’ve been trying to find the one for so long, have lost someone recently, went through a divorce, or have only had bad experiences.

Fear around dating prevents you from taking significant steps into socializing, never mind falling in love. All the different uncertainties generally fall into three dating fear categories. Let’s discuss the three biggest dating fears and how to avoid them.

Fear #1: He’s Just Not That into You

When you see a good-looking guy, I bet you think, “I can’t greet him. What if he doesn’t like me?” Rather than taking the risk of being friend-zoned, you don’t approach or open up to anyone at all. Rejection sucks, no doubt about it. When we have low self-esteem, we feed this fear by planting negative thoughts about how we think others view us.

But why is it so crucial for him to like you? What do you think of him? You will never know whether there’s potential if you don’t take a chance and start a conversation. It all starts with a simple “hi”.

Fear #2: I’ll Be Stuck with Someone I Don’t Like

You’re afraid that you’ll go on a few dates and realize you don’t really like him. For a nice person, the struggle is real; you hate the idea of hurting anyone’s feelings or having that awkward breakup conversation, so you keep him around.

Chances are you probably have stayed too long in relationships before because of this fear. Or you kept men at a distance, just in case you needed to end it. Maybe you’ve dated someone who showed his true identity as time passed, and you didn’t like what you saw.

There’s nothing wrong with ending it right away when there’s no connection. It will be uncomfortable, but you have to do it. What’s the point of keeping everyone else happy if you’re miserable? Not only are you missing out on happiness and finding Mr. Right, but you’re also holding on to someone you’ll never truly love. That’s not fair to both of you.

Fear #3: History Will Repeat Itself

When some of us consider our past experiences, we can’t help but wonder whether we are capable of healthy relationships. You may have created this idea in your mind that you’re not ready for another commitment. There must be something about you that makes relationships fall apart.

No. There is nothing wrong with you. Now that you have a better idea of what you’re looking for in a partner, making sure that your partner is right for you means you’ve taken a big step in the right direction. Communicate your needs with your partner, and you’ll both feel more satisfied in the relationship.

What fears are getting in your way of finding love?

Big Luv,