March 20, 2020

How to Let Go of Your Fear of Dating

by Janet Tingwald in Dating

Many independent single ladies don’t like the idea of dating. For some of us, anxiety takes over. For others, dating was never a priority. And some women have had their fair share of dating. And none of these relationships ever progress.

There are many reasons why women can develop fears of dating. You like your independence and worry that you’ll lose yourself in a long-term commitment. Perhaps you don’t want to approach a handsome man out of fear that he won’t like you. Or maybe you’re afraid that you’ll step into the same toxic relationship you just escaped.

Whatever the reason, these fears shouldn’t keep you from trying again. Dating is playful, introduces you to new people, and teaches us a lot about ourselves. Here are a few ways to let go of your fear of dating.

Just Breathe

Taking deep breaths may sound cliché, but there’s a reason therapists and coaches use it in their sessions. Anxiety is linked to our “fight or flight” response, whether the danger is real or not. By slowing down your breathing, you’re activating your calming system and slowing down your heart rate, which enables you to think and act clearly and more rationally.

Stop Judging

You already put so much pressure on yourself in your career and family life. Don’t do that on your dates too. Are you wondering whether you’ll be judged on your looks, the way you talk, or how you feel? When we judge ourselves so harshly, we assume others do too. Be open and give yourselves the chance of getting to know your date better. So, stop judging yourself!

Forget the Games and Be Vulnerable

Have you ever seen a season of The Bachelor where men have not asked women to be vulnerable? It’s difficult for shy or anxious people to open up at first. We learned that showing emotion is a sign of weakness while, in fact, it’s a mark of strength. By being vulnerable, you’re showing that you can survive anything and still be true to yourself. Don’t worry about the rules of dating and what society expects of you. Men aren’t looking for perfect; they’re looking for authenticity.

Remember It’s a Date, Not an Arranged Marriage

You don’t have to imagine getting married to every man you meet. The great thing about dating is that there are no serious attachments, thus, focus on enjoying the date. It is a process to find out how compatible you are, so the more you disclose and learn, the more successful you’ll be. And if it doesn’t work or you don’t feel comfortable, move on. It’s not a failed attempt; you just found a person who doesn’t fit into your dream.

If you find yourself struggling with the above strategies, reach out to a professional to assist with your dating fears. You don’t have to remain that single person who is always surrounded by friends in relationships

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