January 3, 2020

Let’s NOT Talk About Sex

by Janet Tingwald in Relationship

The Physical Touch love language is more about intimacy. It could be holding hands, laying your head on your partner’s shoulder, or simply a hug. Just like someone might feel loved after reading a note from their partner, another person may get that same feeling when their partner runs his or her hand through their hair.

To some degree or another, we ALL need physical touch in our intimate relationships, but for those whose primary love language is Physical Touch, it can be even more important.

It can be tricky at times, though, mostly because your partner may not understand what they want, and it can create some frustration and confusion. Let’s look at an example from John and Jane!

John’s primary love language is Physical Touch. This past month or so (for whatever reason) as been stressful, and he feels a little distant from Jane. Noticing this, Jane tries giving John some Words of Affirmation and even buys him a small gift, but nothing seems to be working. That disconnect is still there.

Finally, Jane asks John to share what he needs. John responds with, “I don’t know, I just feel physically distant from you.” It can be a little awkward for John to say, “I just want some physical touching, but not sex.

That’s why knowing your partner’s love language and having an open conversation about them is so important, especially with Physical Touch.

Jane would know that all John needs is a little physical contact. Maybe they create a special movie night and cuddle on the couch, or they choose to go for a walk and hold hands. Maybe he justs needs a hug.

When you touch (especially in the intimate scenario this activity creates), your body releases a hormone called oxytocin, which is known as the “cuddle hormone.” This hormone can help build trust and is essential in building strong bonds within relationships. So don’t forget to snuggle!

If you or your partner have Physical Touch as their primary love language, don’t be afraid to talk about it! Ask each other what sorts of non-sexual physical touch you each like best. Physicality is a significant part of any relationship or marriage, so don’t avoid the conversation!