September 22, 2020

The Biggest Question I Get from Women

by Janet Tingwald in Dating, Internet Dating

I often get asked by women, “Where do I meet a quality man?”

While the short answer is “they’re everywhere,” I wanted to break it down to give you something a little more specific to work with. While I do believe one never knows where you’ll meet someone, the four levels below show you how you can increase your chances of not just meeting someone, but increase your chances of them being compatible with you.

 I do understand that the current situation with social distancing has greatly changed our lives. However, some things are starting to happen again and places are opening up. We all have to make our own choices to feel safe. Use the information below as it works for you.

Level One:

Remember that public places such as the supermarket, post office, art and wine festivals, etc., with a great diversity of people offer opportunities because you go there often. Although, it’s true these don’t have a high likelihood of meeting your soul mate, don’t rule them out.

Level Two:

While your odds increase with generic singles settings such as singles bars, singles clubs and events, dating sites, etc., because you can meet more singles, finding qualified potential partners can be quite challenging, as many frustrated singles will attest. My suggestion is to manage your expectations and just have fun while being open to meeting someone new. Cast your net wide on this level.

Level Three:

These are settings in which you share a strong interest with everyone there, such as ski clubs, bike clubs, yoga classes, etc. These settings are great for making friends and having fun, in addition to finding a potential partner. If you do not meet the kind of potential partners you are looking for, you can still form friendships and network—your friends can be your best referral partners, and people that you would want for friends are more likely to know someone good for you to meet. Don’t get discouraged if a setting doesn’t have the man you are looking for.

Level Four:

These are settings in which you share important values, goals, and/or passions with everyone there, such as your church, service clubs, personal growth venues, political events, etc. These are highly individual and can sometimes be a challenge to find, but the good news is that you can create your own. These settings tend to be communities unto themselves that have a level of mutual support and involvement in each other’s lives. These are the people you would invite to your birthday party or wedding—the people that want to see you be happy and succeed in finding your life partner. These settings are the best venues for finding your life partner and/or get the support you need to find your life partner.

My suggestion would be to think about these four levels and do a little personal inventory of what you are currently doing. 

  • Where do you go on a regular basis?
  • Do you belong to social groups?
  • What are some causes or interests you are passionate about?
  • Are you asking friends who they know?

Try making a plan to be doing something in all four levels. Like anything else in your life, if it’s important to you, having a plan in place greatly increases your odds of success.  Don’t leave your love life just to chance.